Thursday, November 7, 2013
사랑, Aloha, Amor...Love.
It would be a bit dramatic to say that "I'm heartbroken", because that would assume my heart knew something about being whole. I have happy moments; memorable moments in life that cause my heart to "smile"(if that's even possible). I have felt that calming comfort of peace. I have smiled. I have laughed. And all these wonderful feelings have caused my heart to flutter, and beat in a way that makes me want to dance. But, I can't be sure if I've ever really Loved someone in a way that a woman loves a man. I've said the words a time or two (I love you) when the moment seemed appropriate, but every time the words escaped my lips, a moment of doubt creeps into my mind. It would say, "are you sure you mean that?" Not to sound conceded, but I know I have broken a heart or two because of my own inability to listen to my own. I stayed in my past relationships because I felt obligated and apologetic (sounds like a Korean drama). When my heart couldn't bear the responsibility of it anymore, I would simply walk away. No explanation. Maybe that's why I'm so hesitant to start any kind of relationship. I don't want to hurt anyone else. Especially if that person is already a close friend to me. But, here's the real problem; how will I know when to risk it?