Thursday, November 7, 2013

사랑, Aloha, Amor...Love.

It would be a bit dramatic to say that "I'm heartbroken", because that would assume my heart knew something about being whole. I have happy moments; memorable moments in life that cause my heart to "smile"(if that's even possible). I have felt that calming comfort of peace. I have smiled. I have laughed. And all these wonderful feelings have caused my heart to flutter, and beat in a way that makes me want to dance. But, I can't be sure if I've ever really Loved someone in a way that a woman loves a man. I've said the words a time or two (I love you) when the moment seemed appropriate, but every time the words escaped my lips, a moment of doubt creeps into my mind. It would say, "are you sure you mean that?" Not to sound conceded, but I know I have broken a heart or two because of my own inability to listen to my own. I stayed in my past relationships because I felt obligated and apologetic (sounds like a Korean drama). When my heart couldn't bear the responsibility of it anymore, I would simply walk away. No explanation. Maybe that's why I'm so hesitant to start any kind of relationship. I don't want to hurt anyone else. Especially if that person is already a close friend to me. But, here's the real problem; how will I know when to risk it?




2 comments:

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  2. I love the way you write, Em! And you will know. You will know because it will be impossible NOT to tell that special person how much you love them every second of the day. May heaven help whoever that may be, for they are very blessed indeed.

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